You Don’t Need Another Mentor. You Need Better People Around You.
There’s a lot of talk on Linkedin and wherever else right now about mentorship. "Find a mentor." "Learn from people ahead of you." "Get in the right rooms." I understand the idea, I've even benefited from people who took time to invest in me and paid it forward by taking the time to invest in other people, so why the sudden challenge of opinion?
The reality is, I think most people are chasing the wrong thing. They’re looking for someone to guide them instead of putting themselves in a place that forces them to grow and those are two very different paths, with two very different outcomes. I am qualified to speak on this, because I've not only experienced both these paths, but I have also spent an extraordinary amount of time reading, studying and analyzing mentorship.
A mentor can give you advice, share perspective and help you avoid mistakes. However, they can’t do the work for you, and they can’t always create enough pressure that forces you to change and improve. That comes from being around the right group of people. I'm referring to people who aren't afraid to get a little uncomfortable and probably, don't even think the same way you do. People who expect more from themselves and, by default, expect more from you.
I’ve seen this play out in every area of my life. In my career, It came from being in roles where expectations were high, decisions mattered, and there was no place to hide. I either had to figure it out or didn’t. If I didn't know or understand something, I had to put myself in a place with the right people to learn and understand it. In the work I’ve done building programs and partnerships, nothing improved because of a single piece of advice. It always improved when I was in a room with people who challenged ideas, pushed back, and forced better thinking.
Even now with Forge & Freedom, the value isn’t in me telling anyone what to do. It’s in putting guys in situations where they have to show up, move, and engage with other men who aren’t interested in staying where they are. That’s where the shift in mentality leads to an evolution of breakthroughs and growth.
The problem is, most people intentionally avoid these situations. They want to grow, but without putting in the work. It's like weight loss, I'm sure most of us would like to lose a little weight, but the reality is you have to be willing to put in the work and effort to make it happen. Unfortunately, they don't make a GLP-1 for this type of change. People want clarity without pressure and confidence without putting themselves in situations where they might fail, out of fear of failure. So they look for mentors. Someone to point the way, give them a plan and make everything feel more manageable. This works and is a step in the right direction. However, in many of these instances the outcomes may not meet the expectations. What may work for some, won't work for others.
However, deep seated growth doesn’t come from being managed. It comes from being exposed. Exposed to higher standards, different perspectives, and situations where you’re not the smartest person in the room.
If you want to get better, I wouldn't start by asking who can mentor you. I would suggest starting by asking where you need to be. What rooms are you avoiding? What situations would force you to step up? Who are the people that could make you uncomfortable, in the most productive way?
Mentors have their place, and they can help you move faster, with clarity. Mentors can help hold you accountable and drive your momentum when you need it, so find one if you need one. Just don’t let it stop there. Continue to seek out the right rooms, around the right people. There’s no amount of guidance or accountability a mentor can give you that will move you forward if you’re not willing to apply it and hold yourself to a higher standard than what’s expected. The work you do on your own comes first. Mentors can sharpen you, but they can’t replace that.
Put yourself out there and stay long enough for it to change you.
From the Forge,
Zachary
