When Winter Starts Letting Go

My family skating on the rideau canal in Ottawa, ontario.

It’s been a couple months since I’ve written anything here. Not because life slowed down, but quite the opposite. It filled up fast. Work, school, kids, practices, games, responsibilities that don’t wait for you to catch your breath. Days stacked on top of each other. Early mornings and late nights. A lot of doing, not much thinking. A stretch where you handle what’s in front of you and keep moving because that’s the business at hand.

Probably an unpopular opinion, but this is quietly my favorite time of year. Not summer or fall this period of time right now. Where spring keeps peaking its head, but winter snaps back reminding you it's not quite done yet. However,  you can feel it starting to loosen its grip. It’s not beautiful...yet It’s muddy and unpredictable.  Some days still feel cold enough to keep you locked inside. But in the background everything slowly starts to wake up again.

I usually feel it in my body first, more energy and less drag. Mornings don’t feel so heavy. It’s easier to get up and move. Easier to commit to getting back into the gym and actually following through. Hockey begins to fade as the next sport takes its place. During the winter I skate three days a week, and I love it. But it never feels like enough on its own. It keeps me active, but it doesn’t feel like it completes the type of active fitness my body desires. This time of year, fills that gap. The extra light and warmer air has a tendency to pull you back outside and pushes you to do a little more.

I tend to compare it to a bear waking up from hibernation.

Like you’ve been moving all winter, but not fully coherent. Just maintaining, getting through. Slowly things begin to shift, not all at once, but quick enough to notice. You start to feel sharper. More present. More willing to push yourself again.

Everything outside mirrors that. Trees that looked dead start to show life again. Frozen Ground starts to give. Water starts moving. You can see it happening in real time if you slow down long enough to notice.

It makes you wonder if we’re really that different?

Because winter, when you’re in it, feels like it drags on forever. Long days. Short light. The same routine over and over again. You don’t think about the end of it. You just keep moving. But then it starts to break, and suddenly it feels like it all went by fast. Like you blinked and it’s already behind you.

Five months of hockey. Practices. Games. Running kids from one thing to the next. Trying to keep everything moving at home and at work. It adds up and somewhere in the mix, things you enjoy start to fall off. Snowboarding, Winter hikes. Getting out in a way that fills your own tank. You tell yourself you’ll get to it, but time runs out before you do.

If I’m being honest, part of that is probably an excuse. But part of it is real. There are only so many hours in a day. And sometimes what you actually need is rest and time to catch up. Time to just stop moving for a minute so you don’t burn out completely.

That tension is always there.

But being a father changes how you look at it. You make trade-offs. You give things up without making noticeable. Not forever, Just for a moment in time. However, when that time  is filled with your kids learning, growing, having experiences they’ll remember, it’s hard to call that a loss.

You watch them learn and grow in activities they love.  You see their confidence build. You see the friendships. The small wins that mean everything to them. And you're easily reminded exactly why you chose to spend your time the way you did.

It doesn’t mean you ignore yourself. It just means you find your way back when the time is right.

That’s where I feel like I am right now. Not starting over, just stepping back into it. A little more energy and focus. A little more intention behind how I use my time. Getting back into the gym and outside. Getting back to the things that make me feel like myself.

Nothing extreme, Just simple movement. That’s why this time of year matters to me.

It’s nothing extraordinary and doesn't demand anything from you. It just gives you a chance to wake up. To shake off what the last few months have built up. To move forward without needing everything to be perfect.

Winter starts letting go and if you’re paying attention, you should too.

From the Forge,

Zach