5 things men can do to stop second guessing themselves
How to Stop Second Guessing Yourself
We’ve all been there, that moment where we hesitate. You know what to do. You’ve done the work. You’ve prepared. But right before you take the shot, make the call, or step forward, something in your head starts to whisper: “What if you’re wrong?”
That split second of hesitation? It’s enough to change the outcome.
Confidence...or the lack of it, is one of the most powerful forces shaping our lives as men. It determines how we lead, how we connect, how we show up for our families, and how we chase the things that matter.
When confidence is strong, momentum follows. When it falters, everything starts to feel heavier.
The Slump
Think about professional athletes. When they hit a slump, their skills don’t just vanish. They don’t forget how to shoot, throw, or perform. What disappears is their trust in themselves and their confidence.
The same thing happens to us in life. We start overthinking, second guessing, and playing out every possible way something could go wrong. We convince ourselves that “waiting” or “thinking it through” is being smart, when really, it’s just fear dressed up as logic.
The truth is, you can’t think your way into confidence. You have to build it.
You build it through experience. Through taking action. Through falling on your face a few times and realizing it didn’t break you.
Confidence grows every time you prove to yourself that you can handle it.
And that’s what this week’s Into The Fire episode with Adam Soller was all about learning how to stop second guessing ourselves and start trusting the men we’re becoming.
5 Things Men Can Do to Stop Second Guessing Themselves
If you’ve been stuck in your head, doubting your next move, here are five ways to start breaking the cycle:
1. Keep Small Promises to Yourself
Confidence starts with self trust. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Even when no one’s watching. Especially then. Every small win builds integrity, and integrity builds belief. The more you follow through, the less room doubt has to grow.
2. Take Imperfect Action
You’ll never have all the answers. You’ll never be “ready.” Waiting for the perfect moment is how dreams die slow. Take the shot. Make the call. Move the needle forward. Momentum beats hesitation every time.
3. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
The reason we second guess ourselves is because we fear failure or judgment. But growth only happens in the uncomfortable. Put yourself in situations that challenge you physically, mentally, emotionally. Like cold exposure, long hikes, public speaking, or even hard conversations. When you stop avoiding discomfort, you stop fearing it.
4. Surround Yourself with Men Who Push You
Confidence is contagious, so is doubt. If you’re around guys who make excuses, you’ll start making them too. But if you’re surrounded by men who lead, act, and hold themselves accountable, you’ll rise to that level. Find your team.
5. Reflect Don’t Dwell
After a setback, reflect on what went wrong and what you can improve. Then let it go. Reflection builds growth. Dwelling on something, builds anxiety. Learn your lesson, then move forward. That’s how you stay in motion.
The Forge
Confidence isn’t about never failing, it’s about knowing you can get back up when you do. Every challenge, every misstep, every doubt, it’s all part of the forge. The process of being refined into something stronger.
You don’t need permission to trust yourself. You just need proof. And that proof comes from showing up again and again, until the voice that doubts you finally goes quiet.
Because confidence isn’t built in comfort. It’s built in the fire.
